This weekend has been filled with Steampunk goodness all against a Vermont setting. The attendees were welcoming and friendly and the Springfield Steampunk Festival staff were amazing and should be given extra stickers for talking me off the ledge when I was in a panic.
We started our Chocolate season off with a bang. We sold out of books AND chocolates this past weekend along with letting folks know about our ETSY shop with a new, affordable box of chocolates.
This past summer has been full of change. While I welcome change what I had faced required having to inform people that some things were not in my control. For some that was not acceptable and for some they understood, but either way I am grateful for the lessons learned so far and I hope that I can delight people with my words and chocolates as the seasons change.
This weekend I was made to feel awkward but in the best way (I think). My Nerd and the wonderful Scott Anderson were talking at our table last night and they both, while I was standing right there, began to talk about me in glowing terms. I mean, big words. Words you may need a dictionary for…okay, not really.
Though it left me in a dazed state, it got me thinking about how we see ourselves versus how others may see us. I’ve been open about my past in terms of folks projecting things that aren’t me onto me so I am very hesitant to take on anyone’s view of what they believe to see of me.
Last night was difficult, but a lesson to be learned. After I was blushing and thanking Scott for such encouraging words and positive feedback on things I stole a moment with Nerd in semi-private, behind the booth sign. (Yes, there may have been some PDA. Yes, Zoe and Wash kinda lovin'. Be jealous!)
Around the chaos of the photobooth patrons and the beginning evening’s festivities I slid my arms around Nerd and asked “How come I can’t see myself as intelligent or powerful in presence like you and Scott say I am?”
Nerd replied, “Perhaps someone who knows that they are powerful and smart would take advantage of it. For you, I think it’s best that you are all these things, but still humble.”
I had no pithy reply nor anything of value to add to that and so I was quiet for the evening and frankly it's been on my mind even late this Sunday evening and I assume tomorrow too. So how do you negotiate such a thing in your mind? How do you balance confidence and belief in self without letting it give you a fat head? I'm asking for a friend. Ya...a friend.